I am starting to get vibes of mild outrage from certain peers who seem pretty shocked about my potential transition to housewife. There are a couple of feminist acquaintances who have murmured dissatisfaction at my new “life choice” and I think the question “So what are you going to do all day while your husband is at work?” will become one of those questions I am just going to have to learn to deal with over the next few months (much like “So, when’s the big day?” when you’re engaged, or “When’s it due? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” when you’re pregnant).
Even my husband seems to be a lot more concerned about me getting bored than I am!
I have to admit that becoming a housewife might well end up being a more difficult transition than I imagine, and it might cause a few issues if I’m not careful. I am the sort of person who can start moping around in my pyjamas all day if I don’t keep busy.
But I think/hope this is a different situation. I am really looking forward to it, and there is so much I want to experience as soon as I get out there, that I think I am actually going to have to rein myself in a bit at first.
At least I know I’m not alone in feeling like this, as this article explains.
I could probably get a job over there within a few weeks through contacts I have, but having consulted hubby to check that he’s absolutely sure that he is happy to be the sole breadwinner, we’ve agreed that there’s no need for me to rush into work unless I want to. His new salary is going to be higher than our current combined salaries in the UK, which gives me the space to do my own thing in Qatar. In the UK, because of the high cost of living, I’ve had no choice but to stick it out in my current job, despite being desperately unhappy there.
There’s a few reasons why I’m not going to rush out to look for a job when we get to Qatar. First of all, there’s a little part of me which has always fancied being a housewife, not because I’m lazy (God forbid!) but because I quite enjoy being a home-maker and looking after the family’s finances etc.
I’ve never been ambitious in the “climbing the career ladder” sense and have never felt the need to chase promotions at work. Money and becoming a manager for management’s sake have never motivated me in the slightest. I’d prefer to be on the ground, slogging it out to make a difference to the world in my own little way, rather than browsing Gantt charts and suffering endless meetings.
Maybe as a result, my career at the moment has ground to a catastrophic halt! My scientific background has been eroded away, mostly by one calamitous career choice made a few years ago, and I now find myself in a sort of PR role, even though dealing with the media and irate members of the public are actually two things which I dread and which are least suited to my personality.
As a result of all this, I’ve become a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none, and don’t quite manage to cut it as either a ‘proper’ scientist, or a pure ‘PR’ person. My lack of specialism means I fall through the gaps of many of the jobs I’ve wanted, and having spent the last two years desperately trying to leave my current company I have failed miserably in securing a different job.
I do actually have some sought-after skills, as community engagement is becoming an increasingly desirable skill and I have been head-hunted for a couple of roles in the past few months. Unfortunately, I’ve not wanted to work for any of the companies who have approached me. One example was Network Rail, another was National Grid and they were all planning projects which were going to upset quite a lot of people! There is a reason why some of these companies were so desperate to get a community relations specialist in…..
So what DO I want to do? Well I don’t honestly know at the moment, but I’m really grateful for the breathing space to try and work this out. There is a part of me which has always wanted to study veterinary science, and that might have been something I would have pursued if we’d stayed in the UK, but it might not be an option at all with the move to Qatar.
I do know that I want to put my spare time to good use, and the first thing I’m going to do out there is register to volunteer at the Qatar Animal Welfare Society (QAWS).
Other than that, I’m going out there with an open mind. I might get a job sooner than expected if I can’t hack being dependent on hubby for money, or I might even take advantage of the international universities offering courses at the new Education City in Doha, or who knows, maybe something completely unexpected will happen and take me down a completely new route. I just want to go with a completely open mind and no expectations, so that I make the most of anything life throws at me and don’t get knocked back by disappointments.
Also on my list of things to do:
Hmmmm maybe I will need to get a job to fund all of this lot….. but then I won’t have enough time……what a great dilemma to have!
It kind of reminds me of starting Uni again and wondering which societies to join. I think my strategy of just joining one club at Uni and getting really deeply involved served me well at the time, so maybe I need to do the same here. Decisions, decisions!